I Love You

During childhood years of playing
Jacks, UNO, hopscotch and Connect 4,
The thought of boys turned us girls into blaring sirens:
“Ewwwww!” We proclaimed with great disdain.
For everyone knew that boys had cooties.
Yet, something about you illuminated. Before I could comprehend it,
my heart sang –
I love you.

I still remember the date and the place:
March twelfth. Two blocks from Carrollton and Canal Streets.
Beneath the cool shade of aging maple trees,
You kissed me – a teen apprehensive about her first kiss.
Warmed by your embrace and the silk of your tongue,
my body murmured,
I love you.

My quivering chin betrayed me.
Tears streamed forward, I could not believe you deceived me.
Your love was mine alone until I learned that it was not.
From shock to rage to anger to hate, you disappointed me.
We changed. Life changed. You returned ... love returned with you.
Forgiveness – I learned its meaning for all that we have been through,
I love you.

Ducks sailed along the pond as sunlight weaved moss-laced trees
To find us standing before family and friends but, most importantly,
Before God. We vowed to love each other as Christ so loves the Church.
Mistrust behind us, we emerged pure and unscathed.
Reminiscent of that first kiss but stronger, more assured.
On this day and forever more,
I love you.

We envisioned it together.
Along a jubilant parade route, within the pulse of the Crescent City,
We would raise our beautiful children. Just you, me, and the babies.
Anna, the first child, who lived and died in the womb.
The lucky one, Charles, wailed – announcing his arrival to the world.
We rejoiced. Rejoiced all three months of his life.
The others bear no names. Repeated loss. Our spirits could not sustain.
Even in those darkest days, through my tearful silence, I maintained:
I love you.

"Cancer," they said. I prayed.
“Why me?” you cried. Nevertheless I tried,
For it was as much your life as mine.
I caressed your cold hands and lay next to your frail body.
In your concave eyes, I saw the youthful boy and my mature groom.
The man that I loved, my love. So I prayed.
You recovered. My womb breathed life. This time
My husband and my baby survived. Surely,
I love you.

Kneeling upon the cold earth, I still feel you.
Do you see our Anthony, our beloved boy?
Tall like you, he is his father’s son.
We visit your grave not to grieve but to celebrate.
Life had not always been kind but blessed we were.
Separated by space and time, I cherish every moment of our lives.
My dear husband, my friend, my lover, my life, please know
I love you.

- Michelle
Reprinted from Straight Up Hudson
http://straightuphudson.blogspot.com/2010/02/32-day-writing-challenge-day-19.html